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Showing posts from April, 2018

I'm Not Suicidal - But If This is My Future.......

It's fair to say I've had a very bad week!
The working week for me consists of Sunday, Monday and Tuesday evenings. I work 17:30 - 23:15 on those three days.
For the past month or so I've been crippled with steadily worsening lower back pain. It got so bad this week that I was unable to dress myself on Friday morning and it took me ten minutes to manage the strength to sit up in bed. Standing up from the bed I realised that I was going to have problems dressing my lower limbs. When I eventually got round to attempting to put socks on I couldn't bend my back far enough forward. My long suffering wife had to put my socks on and pull up my pants.
I initially thought that I'd slept awkwardly and that the situation would improve over the day. How wrong I was!
By midday I was in excruciating pain - radiating out and upwards of my lower back. I'm not ashamed to say that I cried. I could barely walk but, oddly enough, walking seemed to ease the severity of the pain.
Since …

How Do You Sleep At Night?

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In this post I'm going to look again at the disturbance to sleep caused through chronic pain and the treatments sometimes used to address the issue. Often one of the cruellest symptoms of chronic pain is the lack of sleep it causes. It's bad enough that you find yourself in pain when going to bed and on rising in the morning, but to be unable to get any sleep at all compounds the situation and, in turn, leads to a worsening of other symptoms such as depression. Insomnia will often improve by making changes to your bedtime habits. If these don't help, your GP may be able to recommend other treatments. If you've had insomnia for more than four weeks, your GP may recommend cognitive and behavioural treatments or suggest a short course of prescription sleeping tablets as a temporary measure. If we assume that the underlying cause of your sleeping difficulties is your fibromyalgia / chronic pain condition, treating this may be enough to return your sleep to normal. But,…

Love In A Hopeless Place-How Do Fibro-Warriors Find That Special One?

It is difficult enough living with fibromyalgia. The daily battle to just get out of bed and tend to everyday tasks that leaves us exhausted. The constant pain in one area or another or even all over our bodies, not to mention the struggles we have with umpteen other 'associated' symptoms. Why would anybody want to have a fibromyalgia sufferer as a partner?

Some don't have the luxury of choice. When I married in 1993 I was fit and healthy. The first ten years were completely 'normal' for me and my wife. It was when things started to go downhill and my symptoms were finally diagnosed that the hard work began - for both of us. Thankfully, my wife is made of strong stuff - or perhaps she loves me just enough to put up with everything that having fibro throws at me (and her) She has been a rock when the pain got bad, has accompanied me on the whole journey through the health professional assessments and treatments, my periods of depression and all the other highs and lo…

Recovery After Work - Day One.

It's day one of my four days off. At 23:30 last night I got home and began the long process of recovery from three evening shifts at work. By midnight I had seized up and could barely move to get into bed.

My shifts had been particularly quiet on Sunday and Monday nights due to our deliveries being late - there wasn't much to do with no stock to put out. The delivery arrived at around 9pm - so we had two hours to begin making in-roads into thirteen large cages of stock. We got about two done before having to face up (tidy the shelves of) the shop ready for the morning shift at 5:45am.
By the time I got to work last night the day shift had cleared almost all of the previous days delivery, but twelve more cages had been delivered. Needless to say it was a busy six hours of putting out the heaviest items of stock - large soda, tinned goods, water and booze!!
At work I push through the pain - it seems if I stop for longer than ten minutes I begin to seize up - specifically my lower b…

Update on Pain Management

I was diagnosed with Fibromyalgia in 2003. At the time I underwent a series of tests to rule out more sinister conditions - tests for arthritis, cancer etc. etc.

All tests came back as negative (as they always do for Fibromyalgia!) but one test - an MRI scan of my lumbar spine revealed what the consultant termed as "undeveloped spinabifida" 

This concerned me - but I was reassured by the consultant that undeveloped spinabifida is, and remains, exactly that. Undeveloped. It is, he said, virtually impossible for it to develop after my birth. (Basically I was developing spinabifida whilst in my mothers womb but, for some reason, it never completed its development and I was born 'normal'.)

The consultant did say that it could be one of the causes of my intense lower back pain and he suggested a series of pain management sessions to help me with this. I attended six sessions in all and it did not improve my pain levels one iota!


For the past eighteen months my lower back pain…

The living Years - A Tale of Regret

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It is tunes like this that just bring home to you what you've lost.

My Dad died in November of last year. I hadn't seen him for twenty four years - we'd lost touch, mainly because of my own ambivalence towards my family. As far as I was concerned he'd died in 2009 - I was told this in 2012 so I thought I'd missed the chance of a reconciliation (even though we hadn't lost touch on bad terms) To me, my father had died in 2009 and that was it, the end.



But of course it wasn't the end. The information I'd received in 2012 was wrong. My Dad was still alive after 2009 - in fact he was alive in November 2017.

Had it not been for me swallowing my pride and calling my brother - who I'd not spoken to since 2010 (what a family!?) - I might not have had the opportunity to see my dad again.

We met for the first time since 1993 on November 19th 2017. He was amiable and jovial as I always remembered him, but clearly very ill. We chatted as though the missing years did…

Why I Still Work with Fibromyalgia

I have worked all of my life - barring a short spell of unemployment back in the 1980's - I like to work.

Until I was made redundant in 2011 I worked full time in all of my jobs - I've been a policeman, a packer and quality auditor in a plastics factory, a coordinator of a national youth enterprise scheme, a business adviser and social enterprise consultant. I have worked for British Telecom as a buildings inspector and ripped my fingers to shreds splitting moulds at a tyre manufacturers, I've guided wealthy theatre goers as a front of house attendant at the Theatre Royal in Drury Lane, London. I've chased debts in the accounts department of a national cable TV provider, sold advertising space over the telephone and been a general manager of a small courier firm. Quite an interesting and eclectic mix of roles I'm sure you'll agree, and all of these positions have been full time roles - working a minimum of 37 hours per week - though the plastics factory never le…